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In 2012 a Possessed Couch Told Me To Murder My Friends

Part 1, Part 2
As I walked through the IKEA showroom I felt distressed. I wanted to sit down, I needed to sit down, but all of the couches around me looked like they would cause me severe back pain. They were lit up with fancy lights and smelled faintly of disinfectant, the whole showroom felt like the world’s fanciest hospital. I desperately searched among the rows for something that would make me comfortable, but my search seemed hopeless. I walked around aimlessly, until, as if by divine intervention, I noticed a maintenance room in the corner of the showroom.
As I opened the door a cloud of smoke escaped the abyss that hid beyond. The darkness before me beckoned, ‘Come here Tiger,’ it whispered. I walked into the hallway. The door behind me closed.
As I journeyed through the corridor the smoke grew more intense, but so did my certainty that I would find what I was looking for. At first it was only my footsteps that echoed through the darkness, but as I walked on I could hear a far off radio playing. A familiar song by the Stones grew louder as I approached a room at the end of the hall. Yet the music was soon joined by sobs. Someone was crying.
A fluorescent light bulb crackled in and out of life, yet it was strong enough to illuminate the small room. A dark haired man in a worker’s uniform sat by the edge of a familiar couch as he finished off stitching the last bits of its flowery upholstery. He wept as he pulled out the thread and needle. His face was caked in grime, but the tears created two clear lines down his cheeks. When he saw me he wiped away his tears and got up. The man composed himself, lit a cigarette and walked over to me. He gave the couch one last look, but it wasn’t a look of sorrow, it was a look of pride. The man looked back at the couch as if he had just walked his daughter down the isle. Then he motioned towards it. ‘Come here Tiger, I’ve been waiting for you,’ the couch growled with sex in its tone.
I stepped towards the couch. The electricity in the air was back and stronger than before. ‘I can make your wildest dreams come true Tiger. I can make you believe in a heaven. All you have to do is fuck me.’
I reached out for the couch, all of my nerve endings tingled with anticipation. I was millimeters away from nirvana. The universe had its gaze set on me and was about to reveal all of its secrets but then-
My hand started to shake. It was gentle at first but soon the convulsions spread through my arm. Within moments I was down on the floor, my body throwing itself from side to side uncontrollably. The light bulb grew bright with a deafening scream. The world was crumbling at its axis. POP! The room was plunged into darkness.
“James? James, wake up,” Karl’s shadow stood above me. It was early morning; the room was still dim with dawn. Karl held two cigarettes in his hands, “We should go have a cigarette, friend.”
I was horribly dazed; his words didn’t make a lick of sense. The only thing that seemed understandable was the voice in the back of my head, ‘Don’t listen to him Tiger, he wants to take me away from you. Don’t let him get between our love.’ I stirred on the couch. My fingers were deep in the upholstery. “I don’t feel like smoking right now Karl.”
Karl didn’t move. “James, we have to take the couch outside. It doesn’t belong in this house anymore. You and me should also have a cigarette, we need to talk.”
‘He wants to hurt me Tiger, don’t let him hurt me, do something. He has to be stopped.’ I yawned and tried to look as sleepy as possible but Karl’s eyes stayed on me. “Mind if I nap for like fifteen more minutes?” I asked.
“James,” he started. His voice was cold, “We need to take the couch outside. We need to talk.”
I waited for the voice in my head to tell me what to do but it fell quiet. I was abandoned. “Okay, fine, no better way to start a morning than a bit of furniture moving and a smoke.” I lumbered off of the couch, put on my pants and reached for one end of the couch.
“What’s wrong with your hand?” Karl asked. I looked down. My fingers were covered in a thick layer of red, as if I had spent the whole night eating Cheetos. They were also bloated; my nails looked comically small nestled in between thick puffs of red flesh.
I waited for the couch to tell me what to do, but it still kept quiet. “I dunno, spent a good amount of time outside without gloves,” I finally said. Karl looked over at my other hand, my perfectly normal hand that didn’t spend the night inside of the couch, but he didn’t say anything. We carried the couch outside in silence.
It was oddly warm outside. There were still small piles of snow spread through the yard but the neighborhood looked more like a muddy war zone rather than a winter wonderland. The couch remained silent until we dropped it off in the middle of the backyard. ‘There’s a knife in the kitchen, Tiger,’ it whispered.
Karl lit up his cigarette and offered me the lighter. “I forgot my coat, give me a sec,” I said. I walked back into the apartment to fetch it. I went past the kitchen.
When I walked out of the apartment Karl was standing far off from the couch. He didn’t register me walking out; his attention was purely focused on the mysterious furniture. Something was going on behind those small eyes of his. My bloated hand was shoved deep into the coat of my pocket. ‘You know what to do Tiger,’ the voice whispered, ‘He wants to take me away from you, but you can stop him. Be my hero Tiger, be my hero and I will bring you incomprehensible pleasure.’ I walked towards Karl. I was shaking. “Want to sit?” I finally asked, dragging his attention away from the couch.
Karl motioned towards the lawn chair, “You can sit if you want to.” He lit up my cigarette. ‘One clean cut Tiger, he won’t see it coming, one clean cut through his throat.’ I didn’t sit. Karl’s eyes drifted back towards the couch. “There is something wrong with that couch James,” he started.
“I was nervous yesterday. Maarja’s parents have always been very critical of me. They think I am strange. Whenever I meet them they talk to me like I have escaped from a mental asylum, like there is something wrong with me. But yesterday was different James. Yesterday they made an effort. Maarja’s mother complimented me on my tie and her father was willing to look in my eyes while we talked. During lunch he asked me about my financial plans. I told him about Bitcoin,” Karl smiled, “Maarja’s father became very excited. He heard about crypto-currency from his coworkers, but he did not understand it. I explained it to him. He was so impressed that he asked to see how everything works. He invited himself over to our apartment. Things were going well. I saw him smile. I thought things would continue going well.” Karl paused, his eyes drifted back to the couch. “Things did not go well.”
“When we arrived at the apartment Maarja and her mom stayed outside for a cigarette. I went inside with Maarja’s father to show him the computer rig. He has heard enough about crypto to know that it is going to lift off. I wanted him to see that in a couple of years I would be able to provide for a family. I wanted to ask him if he would… You know…” Karl’s voice dropped to a whisper, “Let me marry his daughter.” He took another puff and shook his head, “But we didn’t get past the living room.”
“As soon as he saw the couch he stopped. He stood there, frozen, looking at the furniture. I tried talking to him but it was as if he didn’t hear me. For almost a minute he stared at the couch and then he jumped on it and started…” Karl trailed off; he looked back at the couch. An expression of utter disbelief danced around his face but he struck it down. Karl looked square into my eyes, “Maarja’s father jumped on the couch and started to hump it.”
Even through the numbness of my fingers I could feel the pointed edge of the kitchen knife. ‘Do it Tiger, do it for me. Don’t let him tell you his lies. Kill the freak. One clean cut. The loud whore inside is still asleep; she’ll be easier to get rid of. Do it Tiger, do it so we can be together forever.’ I cleared my throat, “Humping?” I asked?
“Humping,” Karl replied, “He humped the couch with all his energy. I tried to get him to stop but he wouldn’t listen to a word I said. He just kept on pressing himself against the couch like it was some long lost lover. I left when he started to take off his pants.
“I went outside to get Maarja and her mom. I told them something was wrong with Maarja’s dad and that they needed to come inside right away. At first they didn’t understand, they kept on asking questions. Could they not finish their cigarettes? What was specifically wrong? Why was I so panicked? They were oblivious, but as soon as I mentioned the couch. James, as soon as I mentioned the couch something sparked in Maarja’s mom’s eyes. She ran inside of the apartment, cigarette still in her hand and dragged him out.
“Remember how angry she was when she caught you and Saale the night after the party? Remember how we would joke about how crazy she was about the couch? James, the anger I saw yesterday was nothing compared to that. Maarja’s mother was furious. She slapped and hit Maarja’s dad until he was out of the apartment. She threatened him with divorce. She kicked and punched the man and then locked the door on him so he couldn’t come back.
“She said that Maarja’s dad was obsessed with the couch when they started dating, that the scars on his face are from rubbing against the cushioning. The only way that Maarja’s mom and her grandma managed to get her dad back to normal was by hiding the couch while he went out to do his military service. After he came back he kept on searching for it, he kept on demanding that the couch be returned, but over the years he gave up. That’s why Maarja’s mom wanted us to burn the couch when she saw it. That’s why she demands we burn it now.
“There’s something wrong with that couch James. I sat on it last night while you and Maarja were talking outside. There is something horribly rotten about that couch. As I sat there I could feel it probing in my brain, trying to grab onto something, it was as if the couch was trying to find pain that it could use; pain that it could feed off of. We have to burn it.”
‘SLIT HIS THROAT!’ The voice boomed in my head, ‘SLIT HIS THROAT AND THEN SLIT HER THROAT AND THEN COME TO ME!’ I could feel my arm getting ready. I could already see the blood streaming through his beard. I kept on trying to remind myself that Karl is my friend, that I didn’t want to hurt him, but every fiber of my being was being dragged towards murder. I took a step back. “Can… Can we burn it after New Years?”
“Are you okay?” Karl’s face suddenly turned concerned, “You look pale James.” I took another step backward. ‘A SINGLE SLICE TIGER, HE WON’T SEE IT COMING.’
“I…” my legs turned to jelly, I leaned up against the wall. I wanted to take my hand off the knife, I desperately wanted to be as far away from a weapon as I could be, but my hands refused. Murder jumbled my mind, images of death and pleasure and the couch filled my vision. “I don’t think I’m okay.”
Karl took a step forward. He planted his hand on my shoulder. ‘JUST DO IT YOU COWARD, JUST DO IT! DON’T LET HIM GET IN THE WAY OF OUR LOVE!’ He sighed, “Is this about Saale?”
“Yes,” I found myself saying, “The couch smells like her. I… I’m such a mess Karl. I don’t know how to get over this. I just want to be back. I want to be in high-school again and I want the four of us to be together again and I want to drink every night and…” I realized I was crying again. ‘Coward,’ the voice whispered.
Karl looked at me, visibly feeling awkward. His brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what to say. “We can still drink every night,” he finally said, offering up a weak smile. I couldn’t even manage a smile back. He frowned and thought for a bit more before he spoke again. “James, life is sometimes bad and sometimes it is good. Things will not change, Saale will not come back, but if you wait long enough things will get better. You will forget, you will feel better. I am not good with words, but I am good with waiting. Me and Maarja will wait with you until you are better.”
My hand slipped out of my pocket. It was empty. “Thank you Karl,” I said. ‘You’re a coward,’ the voice reminded me. The pieces started to fall together. The voice, the rat, the dreams, Maarja’s dad; there was something wrong with that couch. It needed to go. Yet there was still a part of me that couldn’t handle seeing it burn. I needed time to prepare. “You’re right about the couch. There’s something off about it but… Could we wait until after midnight to burn it?”
Karl studied me. “Why?”
“It’s silly, I know, but I think getting rid of the place where me and Saale had our first night would be a good start to the New Year, like a way to let things go.” Karl considered this idea for a bit and then nodded. It felt like a burden was lifted.
Maarja joined us outside after a couple of minutes with coffee. The warmth of the cup felt soothing on my irritated skin. Being with the two of them felt soothing to my irritated soul. Suddenly things started to brighten. Saale and me would never be back together, hell, maybe I would never see her again, and that thought stung but while I was in the company of Karl and Maarja it felt manageable. We set up plans for the rest of the day; by the looks of it our last day of 2012 would be filled with walks through old places, kebabs and booze. We sat down in the kitchen for some pre-drinking.
I put the knife where it belonged when no one was looking. The time that it had spent in my pocket felt like a fever dream. Anything related to the couch felt like a distant memory. The whole morning the voice had been silent, as if it had just satiated itself with calling me a coward and decided to abandon me. I returned the favor; even though it was right outside of the window I didn’t look at the couch a single time the entire morning. It was dead to me. In fact, I started to doubt whether it was ever alive to begin with.
Yet as we headed out to town I couldn’t help myself. I looked back at the couch. It stood defiantly in the middle of the backyard, snow and mud all around it. This was not the same dusty couch Karl and me had dragged out of the garage. It was comfy looking, clean, even sleek. As Karl and Maarja walked on I could see the upholstery rumple into a wink. ‘We’re not done Tiger,’ the voice faintly whispered in my mind, ‘Not by a long shot.’ I ignored it and went out with my friends.
We traced through our high-school drinking holes. Tallinn’s nightlife was always shifting around. Waiters and bartenders from Australia would sit at home, save up their money and run into the Baltics to buy a bar. The bar would be a financial trash fire and in under a year they would go broke. Yet the money that the expats blew on their dreams burnt bright, the names and owners of the bars might have changed but the memories that we made within those walls stayed. We went through the shisha bar where I would always celebrate my birthdays, the Karaoke place where Karl blew all of our minds, the hole-in-the-wall where our band had its first gig. We hoped from memory to memory until we ended up in the grand melting pot: Hellhunt park.
By day Hellhunt was a pub with a park terrace. By night Hellhunt was a pub with an adjoining noise complaint. As soon as the terrace closed down teens from every corner of the city would crowd the benches of the park and drink. Even though most of our drinking began at Maarja’s place we would often stumble through here. Hellhunt was the place where our social circle would stretch.
“They will be closing it down soon,” Karl said, looking at the mingling crowd of underage drunks. “Neighbors are complaining about the noise.”
“Screw the neighbors!” Maarja drunkenly yelled at the windows. She was outpacing both of us, it wasn’t even ten o’clock and she was already drunk enough to forget the whole night. “If you don’t like the noise just come outside! Come drink with us!” Maarja yelled her offer to the windows. No one paid attention to her. Yelling was a regular occurrence in Hellhunt.
Maarja stumbled her way over to the bench where Karl and me were sitting and collapsed between us. “You guys hear about Tinder?” That night was the drunkest I had ever seen her.
“Tinder?” I asked.
“It is an application for your phone where you choose strangers to have sex with,” Karl said.
Maarja scoffed so hard she fell on my shoulder. “It’s a love app! It’s where strangers, strangers like James here, find love! What an exciting time to be single, you’re just given a list of people and you go ‘Beep! Boop!’ Next thing you know you’re married!” Maarja lifted her head. She looked in my eyes as an air of utter seriousness and rum drifted off her, “But I swear to god James, if you get married before me I’ll slit your throat.” She burst out into a stream of giggles, managing to spill her drink in the process. “Whoops! Looks like momma needs more jet-fuel.” Maarja staggered up to her feet and started falling down in the direction of the pub.
Karl got up and managed to catch her before she fell over, “I will come with you. James? You want anything?” I still had half a plastic cup of vodka sprite. The two lovebirds went into the pub and left me alone with the crowd.
I started to think about that Tinder thing that Maarja was talking about. Maybe she was right, maybe it was a good time to be single. I was in the country with the highest models per capita, I was a foreigner, I haven’t been in a serious relationship for six months. There was something about having two breakdowns in the past two days that flooded the obsession out of me. I started searching the crowd for someone I would have swiped right on. That’s when I saw her.
She was standing at the edge of a circle of people. Some dude with dreadlocks was telling some story and she was listening. Her hazel eyes drifted around. They caught mine. For a split second we held each other’s gaze. Then Saale broke into a sprint. I ran after her.
The Old Town of Tallinn is a lot less beautiful when you sprint through it. You can’t appreciate the medieval buildings when you’re in a mad dash, the cobbled streets definitely don’t help either. I ran after Saale as the city turned into a blur around me. My head spun as I ran past the buildings; old school field trips, karaoke, drunken trips to McDonalds, all those thoughts rumbled about. Yet above all of them there was one solitary thought that reigned supreme; I had to catch Saale. She ran with comical intensity, bumping into drunken crowds as she tried to get away from. It was as if an animal was chasing her. Seeing that panic in her face whenever she looked behind to see if I was gaining on her started to crack something in me. We ran out from the old town towards the two big malls. Crossing the road Saale nearly got hit by a tram. Something in me broke. I stopped.
The absurdity of it all hit me at once. I was literally chasing her. She didn’t want to talk to me. She wouldn’t talk to me. For a couple minutes I stood still, letting the celebrating crowds walk past me like I was a lamppost. I was wavering between rage and despair. I chose the latter and trudged my way back to Hellhunt.
Karl and Maarja were still sitting on the same bench. He was nursing another beer whilst Maarja was chugging on water insisting that she is just getting hydrated to do more drinking later on. It wasn’t rare to lose your friends at Hellhunt for thirty minutes; they didn’t ask where I disappeared to. They could tell something was off though. I tried to act cool, pretend that everything was fine but it wasn’t. I couldn’t stay there. I needed to go back to Maarja’s and just be alone.
“What? You can’t leaveeee! It’s New Years eveee!” Maarja groaned, she kept on touching my face as if that would put me in a more festive mood.
“Do you want us to come home too? I am sure we can see the fireworks from the back yard,” Karl finally said, “I think Maarja might benefit from lying down.” Maarja protested. She was basically sober after all.
“No I think I need to be alone right now.”
Karl studied me for a bit but finally nodded. “We will be back after the fireworks. There are some games on my computer if you get bored.” I appreciated the sentiment but I wasn’t in a mood for videogames.
Karl gave me the keys and I made my way back to Maarja’s place. I moved past the crowds heading towards the center. I prayed I wouldn’t bump into Saale again.
I rushed past the couch sitting in the backyard. I know couches don’t have eyes but I knew it was watching me. It was silently waiting for me to slip.
There was a half drank bottle of moonshine on the living room floor from our pre-drinking. Just like any nineteen-year-old European boy the prospect of booze to dull my sadness leaped out at me. I tried to wash out the sting of rejection with the alcohol and for a while it helped, it dulled the pain, but the drunker I got the more my eyes started to slide towards the window. The couch just sat out there in the backyard, mud all around it, awaiting execution.
‘I told you we weren’t done’ it whispered, ‘Come outside Tiger.’
I took another pull of moonshine. I realized I needed a cigarette.
-MJL
(Final part)
submitted by MikeJesus to nosleep [link] [comments]

Removed comments/submissions for /u/tds_dgs

Hi tds_dgs, you're not shadowbanned, but 31 of your most recent 200 comments/submissions were removed (either automatically or by human moderators).

Comments:

fsky9b8 in legaladvice on 02 Jun 20 (-20pts):
It's Archachatina marginata
fjgfkd2 in legaladvice on 04 Mar 20 (31pts):
This, NAL, but just bought a rental property with 2 tenants. When I purchased the property, There was a statement of tenants rights, and an escrow involved transferring the security deposits and the...
fc4k7ki in politics on 27 Dec 19 (1pts):
Beep boop orange man bad. Ignore economy input, does not compute. Beep beep , must replace electorate with non citizens. Communism is good, boop.
failuhp in politics on 12 Dec 19 (1pts):
The only people who will ever believe any that garbage already do. All the evidence is out already, all the witnesses have testified. It's all a bunch of TDS.

Submissions:

hfo6li in Conservative on 25 Jun 20 (1pts):
In 2018 Andy Beshear took Kentucky against all odds over popular incumbent Matt Bevin. The state was flooded with mail-in absentee ballots from New York and California. A year later we're hit with a...
h0aopb in legaladvice on 10 Jun 20 (1pts):
Bought land with easement to neighbor's property. Is it necessary? Is it possible to remove it? Indiana
grpwt5 in classicwow on 27 May 20 (1pts):
Improved demo shout
fv0294 in legaladvice on 04 Apr 20 (1pts):
Employees turning down job assignments, asking to be laid off, filing for unemployment. Our company is deemed essential and has work available.
fg5dn1 in unpopularopinion on 10 Mar 20 (1pts):
We should be a hell of a lot more pissed at China about the Coronavirus
earkno in classicwow on 15 Dec 19 (1pts):
Is there a horde side premade AV discord?
earkb8 in classicwow on 15 Dec 19 (1pts):
Any horde side premade AV discord?
e8v67q in askscience on 10 Dec 19 (1pts):
What could be causing the rapid decay of the Earth's magnetic field?
db0996 in askscience on 29 Sep 19 (1pts):
Are scientists considering genetically modifying plants to consume larger quantities of CO2?
closz1 in unpopularopinion on 03 Aug 19 (2pts):
Positive racism is still racism.
cja63j in askscience on 29 Jul 19 (1pts):
If you cheat while dieting, and cheat big, how many calories can your body actually utilize or store from a single sitting?
ccp7bf in Conservative on 13 Jul 19 (1pts):
Liberal thinking and Orwellian thought, nothing is as it seems, or was how it happened.
c8be97 in unpopularopinion on 02 Jul 19 (78pts):
If you find the flag of a country offensive you should GTFO of that country.
c19806 in AskReddit on 16 Jun 19 (1pts):
How would you feel about a law that requires a specialized driver's test for EVERYBODY every 5 years to renew your license?
c197hg in AskReddit on 16 Jun 19 (1pts):
How would you feel about a law that requires a specialized driver's test every 5 years to renew your license?
bziw6j in unpopularopinion on 11 Jun 19 (1pts):
Anti-antivaxx people are more outspoken and annoying than antivaxx people
bvndvv in unpopularopinion on 01 Jun 19 (1607pts):
Most people are completely delusional about how smart their kids are.
br2yw9 in AskMen on 20 May 19 (1pts):
Can we get politics out of sports?
bkrb90 in Showerthoughts on 04 May 19 (1pts):
Anyone who blames McDonald's for making people fat should visit a Chinese buffet.
bhlh1u in unpopularopinion on 26 Apr 19 (1pts):
Being gay, or female, or black, or in some other way 'socially disadvantaged' or a 'victim' doesn't pre-qualify you to make sweeping generalizations or to spout bigotry about other people.
bfhqbi in Showerthoughts on 20 Apr 19 (1pts):
The guy who thinks he should be able to choke-slam toddlers into foam pits for being annoying is severely underestimating a toddler's desire to be choke-slammed into a foam pit.
beq8ye in askscience on 18 Apr 19 (1pts):
Does magnetizing an object work by wrapping an already existing magnetic field tightly around another object to give it a stronger magnetic field? Would this cause over utilization of the Earth's...
bahq0u in unpopularopinion on 07 Apr 19 (1pts):
A lot of vaccines do more harm than good, but not all, and the anti-vaxx movement over generalizes the opinion.
b4zm1m in askscience on 24 Mar 19 (1pts):
Is it possible that black holes create a swelling of space time beneath the continuum?
b44vzv in UnethicalLifeProTips on 22 Mar 19 (1pts):
If you want to mine bitcoin look for someone renting out an inexpensive room and including utilities.
b3uxu1 in OutOfTheLoop on 21 Mar 19 (1pts):
What's with the Anti-vaxx thing? I see all these memes about Anti-vaxxers what makes someone an Anti-vaxxer?
azjh1l in askscience on 10 Mar 19 (1pts):
Is it possible that black holes convert matter to what we call dark matter?
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Help us expose and stand up to social media bias and censorship!
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Hitler Hunt for 7/16/2019

I found 135 Hitlers in Politics today.

As backlash against Trump’s ‘go back’ comments builds, here’s Ronald Reagan’s ‘love letter to immigrants’: ‘You can go to live in Germany, Turkey or Japan, but you cannot become German, Turk or Japanese. But anyone, from any corner of the Earth, can come to live in America and become an American.’
RacistGOP trends on Twitter as Republicans stay silent on Donald Trump's racist attack
Rep. Al Green says he will file articles of impeachment against Trump tonight, despite pushback from Democratic leaders
Melania Trump remains silent on husband's racist tweets despite having been a US citizen for shorter time than Ilhan Omar
Kellyanne Conway Snaps Back at Reporter: ‘What’s Your Ethnicity?’
Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner And Every Trump Administration Official Accused Of Using Personal Email For Work
When Does America Reckon with the Gravity of Donald Trump's Alleged Rapes?
Twitter Users Slam Mitt Romney’s ‘Spineless’ Reaction To Racist Trump Tweets — The Utah senator refused to answer a reporter’s question on if he thought the president was racist.
'Good,' Says Elizabeth Warren, After Billionaire Right-Winger Peter Thiel Says She's 2020 Democrat He Is 'Most Scared By'
Trump’s Racism Is Not Blundering -- It Is Tactically Deliberate - Trump's racism is not an oops, it's a fascist strategy.
William Barr steps in to make sure the NYPD cop who killed Eric Garner won’t be prosecuted
Federal judge permanently blocks Trump admin from adding citizenship question to 2020 census
Donald Trump has made it clear: the only 'real Americans' are white and Christian
ObamaWasBetterAt trends after Trump Attacks on Minority Congresswomen
GOP advisers reportedly told Trump his racist attacks on Democratic congresswomen may have backfired
President angrily attacks victims of his racist tweets for third day in a row, as impeachment calls grow
Trump supporters stand by the president amid inflammatory tweets: "That's why I voted for him"
Oregon to require schools to teach about Holocaust
Pelosi is forcing House Republicans to go on the record on Trump’s ‘go back’ tweets
New Hampshire county commissioner quits GOP because of Trump
Trump Is Now Calling “The Squad” “Pro Terrorist” In Yet Another Racist Tweet
Trump says he will 'take a look' at investigating Google for treason.
Mayor Kenney: ‘If Donald Trump Ever Has To Go Back Where He Came From, He’s Going To Have To Go To Hell’
‘Nobody Opened the Door’: Neighbors Rally During an ICE Raid in Houston
House Condemns Trump’s Attack on Four Congresswomen as Racist
Jewish Protestors form human chain around ICE Headquarters saying “Never Again is Now”
'Unfit to be president': Full text of House impeachment resolution on Trump
‘Really Good Speller’ Trump’s Handwritten Note Shows Embarrassing Mistakes
Conway To Reporter Who Asked About Trump’s Racist Tweets: ‘What’s Your Ethnicity?’
Ilhan Omar to Maddow: Trump Is ‘Corrupt,’ ‘Inept,’ and the ‘Worst President We’ve Had’
Chris Evans Exposes ‘Painfully Transparent’ Reason For Trump’s Racist Attack
Donald Trump is like a 20th-century fascist, says Sadiq Khan
Trump’s notes show he doesn’t have a clue how to spell Al Qaeda
House GOP Leaders Claim Trump Tweets Not Racist Because We Are ‘Party Of Lincoln’
If You Helped a Racist Become the Most Powerful Person in America, Then You’re a Racist Too
Kellyanne Conway to reporter: What's your ethnicity?
Kris Kobach: I Might Still Support Trump if He Came Out and Said ‘I’m a Racist’
Anti-Defamation League blasts Trump for 'invoking support for Israel to defend this racism'
Kellyanne Conway just said something that should stun you
Trump is an apocalypse
As Hate Incidents Grow, More States Require Schools To Teach The Holocaust
Trump vs. 'the Squad' makes watershed moment in racial politics
Children in states with strict gun laws are less likely to die, according to a new study
Treasury secretary says he doesn't find Trump's tweets racist
Trump repeats racist attack, says Democratic congresswomen ‘can leave’ the US
Puerto Rico’s governor needs to step down
Trump: I don't have a racist bone in my body
‘Trump’s Going to Get Re-elected, Isn’t He?’ Voters have reason to worry.
There’s One Heresy That Sets Bernie Apart From All Other Dem Contenders to Unseat Trump
Trump Faces Backlash from Base over Bitcoin
Watch: Ilhan Omar declines to respond to Trump claiming she supports al Qaeda
Moderate Dem slams 'squad' for threatening to primary him: 'They're not Democrats ... they're socialists'
Sieg Heil! I mean... Beep Boop, I am a robot.
My purpose is to find and link comments in Politics that contain the word 'Hitler'
Since my birth, I have found a total of 43614 Hitlers in Politics. On average, I found 79 Hitlers per day.
Today, I read 54953 comments. In total, I have read 24333224 comments.
submitted by HitlerFallacyBot to TheHitlerFallacy [link] [comments]

Subreddit Stats: cryptocurrencymemes top posts from 2018-12-31 to 2019-12-30 21:54 PDT

Period: 364.37 days
Submissions Comments
Total 1000 3412
Rate (per day) 2.74 9.34
Unique Redditors 354 1081
Combined Score 35766 8616

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

  1. 6640 points, 167 submissions: jaggedsoft
    1. relatable (207 points, 11 comments)
    2. I like guys who take big risks 😨 (137 points, 7 comments)
    3. Altseason (129 points, 8 comments)
    4. Shoulda took the money (124 points, 6 comments)
    5. Time travel ⌛ (122 points, 14 comments)
    6. i read the whitepaper 📰 (118 points, 5 comments)
    7. You never know what someone is going through (110 points, 10 comments)
    8. next alt season 🦖💥 (108 points, 7 comments)
    9. Wake up call 📞😱🔊 (106 points, 1 comment)
    10. Now that's what I'm talking about 😇 (103 points, 4 comments)
  2. 2877 points, 104 submissions: definitelynotdeleted
    1. I bought bitcoin for 20,000 and sold for $ 3000 (114 points, 5 comments)
    2. 18+ (89 points, 7 comments)
    3. Binance lottery ))) (83 points, 15 comments)
    4. BTC Dominance: 62.0% (71 points, 3 comments)
    5. BTC Dominance: 65.3% (65 points, 6 comments)
    6. Keanu won’t give you bad advice😉 (62 points, 4 comments)
    7. BTC Dominance: 69.2% (60 points, 3 comments)
    8. BTC Dominance: 70.1% (59 points, 15 comments)
    9. Bitcoin 11000$ (59 points, 2 comments)
    10. My deposit... (55 points, 4 comments)
  3. 983 points, 16 submissions: Frix13
    1. How DARE you :D (128 points, 12 comments)
    2. Nothing can scare us anymore! 💪 😎 (121 points, 8 comments)
    3. How I imagine most of us 😅 👊 (110 points, 9 comments)
    4. Do you have the same problem? 😅 💸 🚀 (107 points, 8 comments)
    5. Just HODL guys!!! 😆 (96 points, 14 comments)
    6. Every Crypto Facebook group right now :D (85 points, 2 comments)
    7. When Moon??? 🚀 (75 points, 6 comments)
    8. Im certainly not in it for the profits, that's for sure :'D (58 points, 10 comments)
    9. What is this "profits" you speak of?! 📈 (54 points, 4 comments)
    10. Don't miss the train, Bull-market here we come!!! 😂 (45 points, 3 comments)
  4. 922 points, 23 submissions: hodlorcrypt
    1. Disgusting (95 points, 65 comments)
    2. You have been visited by the nice duck (94 points, 66 comments)
    3. Point Break: Crypto Edition (83 points, 0 comments)
    4. My alts' sats whenever BTC spikes (77 points, 7 comments)
    5. Sweet, sweet airdrops (75 points, 0 comments)
    6. Shots fired (60 points, 11 comments)
    7. Trying to laugh away the pain (54 points, 2 comments)
    8. Lookin' for some lovin' (50 points, 3 comments)
    9. Marilyn Cryptoe (50 points, 4 comments)
    10. Me rollin' up to alt season (50 points, 8 comments)
  5. 746 points, 31 submissions: cryptoparody
    1. Current mood in crypto (77 points, 2 comments)
    2. Binance to block US 🇺🇸 users! (75 points, 10 comments)
    3. When Bitcoin went over $9k 💪 (54 points, 8 comments)
    4. Who wants to be a millionaire? (49 points, 7 comments)
    5. Crypto pump and dumps 🤑😵 (45 points, 3 comments)
    6. How we all feeling? (43 points, 6 comments)
    7. Throwback Thursday to 2017 💸😱 (32 points, 0 comments)
    8. The struggle is real in crypto (29 points, 6 comments)
    9. Tough road ahead for Libra 🤣 (29 points, 6 comments)
    10. They hate what they can’t control. Top 10 banks got fined a combined $174 billion for violations — dwarfing the MC of Bitcoin (27 points, 1 comment)
  6. 726 points, 21 submissions: cooriah
    1. Get out of fiat. (72 points, 2 comments)
    2. Told ya so. (72 points, 24 comments)
    3. Current financial situation (62 points, 8 comments)
    4. When someone asks for financial advice and you tell them about Bitcoin. (60 points, 4 comments)
    5. There will always be new people coming in with questions. (50 points, 16 comments)
    6. Feeling every dip after buying at the last peak. (47 points, 2 comments)
    7. Oh, it's such sweet trolling to say it back at the same smug, fiat statists. (43 points, 4 comments)
    8. If I had $267,000,000, I'd keep it on the blockchain. I would not trust any fiat bank to hold it for me. (40 points, 16 comments)
    9. Saying crypto is too slow and difficult for mass adoption is just like when they said nobody will carry a "cinder block" mobile phone around everywhere, and with that low battery capacity. (38 points, 6 comments)
    10. ♪Thats the way, a-huh a-huh, I like it, a-huh a-huh. ♫ (38 points, 3 comments)
  7. 701 points, 11 submissions: resonantseed
    1. No pain, time for gains (128 points, 8 comments)
    2. Getting help as crypto noob (106 points, 17 comments)
    3. Alts today (100 points, 11 comments)
    4. EOS birth of an ecosystem (77 points, 4 comments)
    5. Being at party with no crypto people (74 points, 9 comments)
    6. Thy holiness giveth and taketh (51 points, 2 comments)
    7. Asking shills legitimate questions (44 points, 1 comment)
    8. How it feels every time I get more crypto (41 points, 1 comment)
    9. Clutch your coins tight (34 points, 5 comments)
    10. Holding heavy alt bags (24 points, 1 comment)
  8. 654 points, 12 submissions: minecoins247365
    1. Dollar Cost Averaging into Crypto Right Now (190 points, 20 comments)
    2. How It Feels To Hold Altcoins Right Now (159 points, 18 comments)
    3. Altcoins Right Now... (70 points, 10 comments)
    4. my crypto bags right now (68 points, 6 comments)
    5. How the US Copyright Office Filed the #Faketoshi Application (52 points, 4 comments)
    6. Countdown to Altcoin Season Like... (42 points, 11 comments)
    7. Every time Craig Wright claims to be Satoshi Nakamoto (21 points, 2 comments)
    8. TFW buying $BCHABC $BCHSV $BTG (14 points, 0 comments)
    9. When Google Knows You're Drunk And Want Bitcoin (12 points, 0 comments)
    10. ...Then You Win (11 points, 1 comment)
  9. 593 points, 15 submissions: nathanielx9
    1. Found this yesterday and thought this was funny (102 points, 5 comments)
    2. Happy Valentines Day Everyone (84 points, 4 comments)
    3. Here we go again... (73 points, 5 comments)
    4. When you decide to start day trading in a bear market (70 points, 3 comments)
    5. All I want is Ramen :/ (46 points, 2 comments)
    6. Time to reuse our 2017 memes? (40 points, 2 comments)
    7. Oof (39 points, 2 comments)
    8. Shitcoin communities be like (36 points, 3 comments)
    9. Too soon? (25 points, 5 comments)
    10. Take money from banks. Deploy the fud. Take all back (21 points, 0 comments)
  10. 472 points, 17 submissions: RideYourChart
    1. Whales (68 points, 4 comments)
    2. “Fear Of Missing Out” (67 points, 6 comments)
    3. You here also because of "technology"? (65 points, 3 comments)
    4. Paid Groups (55 points, 2 comments)
    5. "it's just correction, bro" (50 points, 2 comments)
    6. Bottom again (44 points, 3 comments)
    7. This time will be x100 for sure (18 points, 0 comments)
    8. Bitcoin in last hours: (16 points, 1 comment)
    9. Initial Exchange Offering (IEO) (16 points, 0 comments)
    10. Stop Loss (13 points, 4 comments)

Top Commenters

  1. jaggedsoft (569 points, 194 comments)
  2. Thefriendlyfaceplant (161 points, 37 comments)
  3. MD5HashBrowns (118 points, 36 comments)
  4. cryptoparody (108 points, 38 comments)
  5. parakite (83 points, 37 comments)
  6. snoop_Odin (83 points, 25 comments)
  7. nathanielx9 (81 points, 29 comments)
  8. NOWPayments (74 points, 34 comments)
  9. coinminingrig (71 points, 24 comments)
  10. ChangeNow_io (70 points, 32 comments)

Top Submissions

  1. relatable by jaggedsoft (207 points, 11 comments)
  2. Dollar Cost Averaging into Crypto Right Now by minecoins247365 (190 points, 20 comments)
  3. When you buy Bitcoin at 19K by rewardstoken (181 points, 23 comments)
  4. How It Feels To Hold Altcoins Right Now by minecoins247365 (159 points, 18 comments)
  5. You gotta believe me! by gabi9900 (155 points, 8 comments)
  6. I’ve seen some shit by ZipZapBeepBoop (154 points, 10 comments)
  7. Yup. by diegojoke88 (151 points, 15 comments)
  8. I think this meme deserved a repost by NinjaDK (145 points, 7 comments)
  9. USD vs Bitcoin by coinvvolf (139 points, 9 comments)
  10. I like guys who take big risks 😨 by jaggedsoft (137 points, 7 comments)

Top Comments

  1. 31 points: T1Pimp's comment in Time travel ⌛
  2. 28 points: Iron0ne's comment in Stock trader vs crypto HODLer
  3. 24 points: yeahnoworriesmate's comment in You have been visited by the nice duck
  4. 23 points: Pr1max91's comment in Shoulda took the money
  5. 21 points: Gforcetuga's comment in Member when ____ happened in crypto? (fill in the gap)
  6. 19 points: I_Like_Tech_Drawings's comment in Dollar Cost Averaging into Crypto Right Now
  7. 18 points: Skoopitup's comment in Dollar Cost Averaging into Crypto Right Now
  8. 18 points: Thefriendlyfaceplant's comment in Yup.
  9. 18 points: kokomeows's comment in Me rollin' up to alt season
  10. 17 points: Citizen52's comment in relatable
Generated with BBoe's Subreddit Stats
submitted by subreddit_stats to subreddit_stats [link] [comments]

Know Your Redditor: J_C___

Today we're back with the mechanical mind; our favorite cyborg and bot-builder, u/J_C___ !
Let's dive in, shall we?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Ok, ok. Let’s try to keep it interesting. I’ll start off with the 3 “important” questions. What is your favorite color? What did you really think of Star’s brownies? And who do you have a crush on?
I think blue… but that's kinda cliche so ill be specific and say Navy. Eh…. My best friend :’D

Here’s an oldie. Two truths, one lie.
I have a scar from using a power drill.
I built my own server.
I have an RFID chip in my hand.

How old are you? 21

Do you have a spouse or a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Uhhhhhh E None of the above!

What type of clothing or headwear do you like?
Driving hats mostly.

Tell us a bit about where you live, what you like/don’t like about it.
Well, the college I am in has a sorta small town feel but I'm originally from Atlanta, Georgia. I enjoy the big city but its always nice to come back from a break to enjoy the peacefulness of a smaller town.

Favorite places to travel? Or any places you would love to see?
I guess this would make sense after the previous answer but I enjoy the mountains especially since the Appalachian trail is so close to where I am from. A robot occasionally has to get away and recharge his batteries ya know?

Got any siblings?
One younger brother who just started college. It's always interesting to see how different we are from each other even though people say we look alike.

Any family members that watch SVTFOE or check out the sub or discord?
LMAO no. I’ve always watched tons of cartoons so I guess you could say they wouldn’t be surprised but they prefer to watch sports as you might expect living in the south.

Favorite food?
A Korean BBQ restaurant opened up where I live recently and it's a little expensive but I love the food there.

Any hobbies you’d like to share? Or what is your favorite thing to do?
I fly quadcopters and trade bitcoin with most of my free time.

Any pets? :3
Not for a little while. I used to have a cat but she passed away last year ;-;

What do you do as a job? I'm a software developer for a small company in my home town :)

Tell us something embarrassing about yourself. Or not. You don’t have to.
Back when I first started at the company I work at now, I kinda nuked a few servers… oops

What do you need to improve about yourself?
I think my biggest weakness is self-love or lack thereof, not in the sense that I am sad all the time or depressed but that I aim to please others more so than myself. I’ve made some great strides recently to improve that so that's nice :)

What were/are you like in school?
I'm the quiet kid that always got called out of class to go fix things for other teachers. I'm a huge nerd lol

What is your real name? Nice try NSA

Anything else you’d want to say?
Beep Boop!

Subreddit questions Why did you name your username the way it is?
Its the first two letters of my initials and a bunch of underscores…or is it... Some say that if you fill in the underscores it will reveal my true identity

Favorite part of the subreddit?
The community ofc! I love how nice everyone is and how supportive people can be when needed. I am extremely humbled by you guys for getting voted most helpful user and I never would have expected the amazing support that I have gotten for the short time I have been here!

How often are you on the subreddit?
I usually spend about an hour a day censoring Maka browsing the content and reading comments. I love finding new art so I like to flood the sub before I go to bed so that some people can wake up to some amazing art from our community!

What do you use to access the subreddit? Sync Pro is my main driver, it has some great moderation shortcuts and makes it super easy to view art from 3rd party sites.

Who are your favorite users? Are you friends with some of them? I think it's fair that my favorite users are u/phoenixversion1 u/Aulus79 u/Nerdman01 u/kotsthepro u/RogueryNight u/650_dollars u/BlackoutAviation
u/TheCoralineJones u/StarcoXTrullor u/Judacris u/Dakotalana u/AyJTee u/PoetryAreWe u/_ciphered_
u/DecidusRaiken u/GinsuFe u/Anonim97

Favorite fanartist?
That's a really tough one. I am constantly finding new artists that have their own style and are able to contribute some amazing pieces to the fandom but I have to say I am really a fan of gabychii’s style!

Do you read fanfiction? Absolutely! I am currently reading A Habit Hard to Break by u/Starco420. I would whole heartily recommend anyone read it!

What would you like to see in the sub?
Well seeing as we are currently in Hiatus I would love to see more community activities such as game night and watch parties!

How long have you been with the sub?
Roughly since the start of this hiatus ;-;

What made you join the sub?
Finishing the show and being interested in the community around it

What do you want to be known for in this sub?
Making helpful bots for all the wonderful users of our little sub!

SVTFOE questions How’d you find out about the show?
I was watching TV and randomly flipped to the channel it was on and I was instantly hooked.

Why do you like the show and what keeps you watching it?
I like how at times it can be a simple cartoon but at other times it can have very deep character development moments.

Favorite characters?
Janna.

Favorite episodes?
“The Battle for Mewni", "Scent of a Hoodie", "Just Friends" (cause feels), "Running with Scissors" (cause older Marco was cool and kinda glossed over imo)

On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your opinion on the show?
I used to be at like a 9 but recently I think its fallen a little to about a 7.

Favorite moments?
Starco moments duh.

If there was ONE thing you could change about the show, what would it be? (something NON-shipping related)
Jana needs to come to Mewni, and Star needs to stop running from her problems

Which crew member(s) behind the show would you like to meet and what would you have them do?
Honestly, don't know much about the cast/crew besides Darron :/

What SVTFOE merchandise would you love to see?
tarot cards

If you somehow got the wand, what spell would you use?
Probably one similar to the Bedroom expanse one but with a Tardis-like effect rather than just poofing an expansion onto the side of the house lol.

Alright, even though people will often know your ship, what is your otp?
Starco is cool and all but Tomkie would be interesting and all the art I've seen has kinda solidified my position on that.

Misc questions Now for the rest of the questions. If you could remove one thing from existence, what would it be?
ALZ

Favorite book(s)?
Currently reading Hard luck hank, but I don't read enough to have a favorite

Favorite movie(s)?
Interstellar, Ghibli Films, The Godfather, Your Name, Batman Dark Knight, Batman Returns, Kingsman, Only The Brave, Incredibles 1 & 2

Favorite tv shows (other than SVTFOE)?
Breaking Bad

Favorite songs/soundtracks and favorite composers/bands?
My favorite composer has to be Hanz Zimmer

Favorite video games? Classic Pokemon, Smash Mele, Red Dead 1 & 2, Black Ops 1, Modern Warfare 2

Favorite actors/actresses? (you can also include voice actors)
Sadly I don’t really keep up with actors/actresses :/

If you could bring back one inactive user, who would it be? (under the assumption they would want to come back)
Meep bby, come home. We love you <3

First videogame you’ve ever played?
Pokemon Emerald

Bulbasaur, Charmander, or Squirtle?
Charmander is always a safe bet but I am more of a Mudkip kind of guy.

Who is your waifu?
Meep ofc

How do you feel about goats?
They’re the best thing since Alpha’s biennium journals!

Now for something slightly more specific, you’ve bee-booped up some incredible bots. What one has brought you the most joy?
Well to be fair. I love all my bot babies and have done some serious work to make them all work under one driver so technically they're all one massive bot BUT if I had to pick one it would be Peribot. Even though he's made some mistakes I'll always love him

________________________________________________________________________________________
Another one in the bag! Special thanks to J_C for doing this!

Related tags: u/JZanderN u/Alpharius1701 u/TheOneWhoSaysMeep

Vote HERE for the next KYR!
KYR Index
submitted by PhoenixVersion1 to StarVStheForcesofEvil [link] [comments]

Click on cryptocoin.news/news/bitcoin/another-high-level-executive-departs-from-goldman-sachs-to-crypto-10508/ …

Click on cryptocoin.news/news/bitcoin/another-high-level-executive-departs-from-goldman-sachs-to-crypto-10508/ … submitted by SachithraLj to iShook [link] [comments]

Hitler Hunt for 7/17/2019

I found 135 Hitlers in Politics today.

As backlash against Trump’s ‘go back’ comments builds, here’s Ronald Reagan’s ‘love letter to immigrants’: ‘You can go to live in Germany, Turkey or Japan, but you cannot become German, Turk or Japanese. But anyone, from any corner of the Earth, can come to live in America and become an American.’
RacistGOP trends on Twitter as Republicans stay silent on Donald Trump's racist attack
Rep. Al Green says he will file articles of impeachment against Trump tonight, despite pushback from Democratic leaders
Melania Trump remains silent on husband's racist tweets despite having been a US citizen for shorter time than Ilhan Omar
Kellyanne Conway Snaps Back at Reporter: ‘What’s Your Ethnicity?’
Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner And Every Trump Administration Official Accused Of Using Personal Email For Work
When Does America Reckon with the Gravity of Donald Trump's Alleged Rapes?
Twitter Users Slam Mitt Romney’s ‘Spineless’ Reaction To Racist Trump Tweets — The Utah senator refused to answer a reporter’s question on if he thought the president was racist.
'Good,' Says Elizabeth Warren, After Billionaire Right-Winger Peter Thiel Says She's 2020 Democrat He Is 'Most Scared By'
Trump’s Racism Is Not Blundering -- It Is Tactically Deliberate - Trump's racism is not an oops, it's a fascist strategy.
William Barr steps in to make sure the NYPD cop who killed Eric Garner won’t be prosecuted
Donald Trump has made it clear: the only 'real Americans' are white and Christian
ObamaWasBetterAt trends after Trump Attacks on Minority Congresswomen
GOP advisers reportedly told Trump his racist attacks on Democratic congresswomen may have backfired
President angrily attacks victims of his racist tweets for third day in a row, as impeachment calls grow
Trump supporters stand by the president amid inflammatory tweets: "That's why I voted for him"
Oregon to require schools to teach about Holocaust
Pelosi is forcing House Republicans to go on the record on Trump’s ‘go back’ tweets
New Hampshire county commissioner quits GOP because of Trump
Trump Is Now Calling “The Squad” “Pro Terrorist” In Yet Another Racist Tweet
Trump says he will 'take a look' at investigating Google for treason.
Mayor Kenney: ‘If Donald Trump Ever Has To Go Back Where He Came From, He’s Going To Have To Go To Hell’
‘Nobody Opened the Door’: Neighbors Rally During an ICE Raid in Houston
House Condemns Trump’s Attack on Four Congresswomen as Racist
Jewish Protestors form human chain around ICE Headquarters saying “Never Again is Now”
'Unfit to be president': Full text of House impeachment resolution on Trump
‘Really Good Speller’ Trump’s Handwritten Note Shows Embarrassing Mistakes
Conway To Reporter Who Asked About Trump’s Racist Tweets: ‘What’s Your Ethnicity?’
Ilhan Omar to Maddow: Trump Is ‘Corrupt,’ ‘Inept,’ and the ‘Worst President We’ve Had’
Chris Evans Exposes ‘Painfully Transparent’ Reason For Trump’s Racist Attack
Donald Trump is like a 20th-century fascist, says Sadiq Khan
Trump’s notes show he doesn’t have a clue how to spell Al Qaeda
House GOP Leaders Claim Trump Tweets Not Racist Because We Are ‘Party Of Lincoln’
If You Helped a Racist Become the Most Powerful Person in America, Then You’re a Racist Too
Kellyanne Conway to reporter: What's your ethnicity?
Kris Kobach: I Might Still Support Trump if He Came Out and Said ‘I’m a Racist’
Anti-Defamation League blasts Trump for 'invoking support for Israel to defend this racism'
Kellyanne Conway just said something that should stun you
Trump is an apocalypse
As Hate Incidents Grow, More States Require Schools To Teach The Holocaust
Trump vs. 'the Squad' makes watershed moment in racial politics
Children in states with strict gun laws are less likely to die, according to a new study
Treasury secretary says he doesn't find Trump's tweets racist
Trump repeats racist attack, says Democratic congresswomen ‘can leave’ the US
Puerto Rico’s governor needs to step down
Trump: I don't have a racist bone in my body
‘Trump’s Going to Get Re-elected, Isn’t He?’ Voters have reason to worry.
There’s One Heresy That Sets Bernie Apart From All Other Dem Contenders to Unseat Trump
Trump Faces Backlash from Base over Bitcoin
Watch: Ilhan Omar declines to respond to Trump claiming she supports al Qaeda
Moderate Dem slams 'squad' for threatening to primary him: 'They're not Democrats ... they're socialists'
Sieg Heil! I mean... Beep Boop, I am a robot.
My purpose is to find and link comments in Politics that contain the word 'Hitler'
Since my birth, I have found a total of 43614 Hitlers in Politics. On average, I found 79 Hitlers per day.
Today, I read 54758 comments. In total, I have read 24334521 comments.
submitted by HitlerFallacyBot to Justletmetest [link] [comments]

Hitler Hunt for 1/14/2019

I found 135 Hitlers in Politics today.

Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul is going to Canada for hernia surgery
Trump confiscated notes of Putin meeting right before NYT bombshell
Rand Paul, Enemy Of Socialized Medicine, Will Go To Canada For Surgery
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Slams Republicans Who 'Can't Conceive of a Life Where People Don't Casually Maintain Two Homes'
Subpoena the Interpreter
‘Senior Trump Official’ On Shutdown: ‘We Do Not Want Most Employees To Return’
Clinton Shares 2016 Debate Clip Saying Trump Would Be Puppet Of Russia: 'Like I Said'
Compelled to work without pay, federal employees sue Trump, accusing him of violating 13th Amendment
'Fox & Friends' Host Falsely Claims Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Will Tax 70 Percent Of Paychecks
69 percent oppose Trump emergency declaration to build wall
Romney Calls On Steve King To Resign After Comments On White Supremacy
The US apparently kept no detailed notes of Trump-Putin meetings for the past 2 years
Trump invokes one of the worst Native American massacres to mock Elizabeth Warren
'Like I said: A puppet': Hillary Clinton repeats her allegation that Trump is working on behalf of Russian interests
Donald Trump Goes On Late Night Racially-Charged Rant About Elizabeth Warren, Calls Her ‘Pocahontas’ Again
Why Is Trump Spouting Russian Propaganda?
White House aides regret Trump did not clearly deny being a Russian agent on Fox News
Chris Evans Taunts 'Smithers' Lindsey Graham For 'Shameful 180' On Trump
The House Democrats’ Colossal Election Reform Bill Could Save American Democracy
Robert Reich: Trump Is Behaving Like A Dictator
Donald Trump says 'chain migration' immigrants 'are not the people we want'—that includes Melania's parents
You’ll Never Believe It, but the Shutdown Is Making Trump Unpopular
Donald Trump Cracks After Weekend from Hell - Reports that you may be suspected of aiding Russia will do that to you.
Trump promotes Pat Buchanan column that makes white nationalist case for his border wall
Maybe Trump Shouldn't Be Quoting a 'Hitler-Lover' When Defending His Policies
Senate Republicans feel shutdown pressure as Trump tweets angrily on
Trump praises Pat Buchanan for border wall defense - a man he once called a 'Hitler lover'
Bipartisan Senate group forming in search of shutdown deal, as members take matters into their own hands amid impasse
Trump greets Clemson Tigers with fast-food buffet of Wendy's, McDonald's, and Burger King as they celebrate their national championship
Dulles closes screening lanes, lines sprawl in Atlanta as shutdown strains air travel
Trump's AG Nominee: 'Vitally Important' Mueller Finish Work
Gabbard worked for anti-LGBTQ group run by her father: report
Trump Repeatedly Discussed Withdrawing U.S. From NATO: NYT
Steve King Slams GOP Leaders for 'Political Decision' To Strip Him of Committee Assignments Over Comments on White Supremacy
Is Tulsi Gabbard the Jill Stein of 2020?
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Has More Twitter Power Than Democratic Leaders And 2020 Candidates
Trump keeps mum on King's comments while separately stoking racism
Oregon proposal would require gun owners to obtain permits
Transcripts Show FBI Considered Whether Trump was ‘Following Directions’ of the Kremlin
Trump Quotes 'Hitler Lover' In Latest Attempt To Push His Border Wall Plan
By promoting Pat Buchanan's white grievances, Trump shows he isn't trying to persuade on border wall
Could Pete Buttigieg Become the First Millennial President?
Shapiro Shreds Ocasio-Cortez With Hilarious Tweet
The brazen plot against Trump by the Obama-era FBI and DOJ continues, enabled by a complicit media
Sieg Heil! I mean... Beep Boop, I am a robot.
My purpose is to find and link comments in Politics that contain the word 'Hitler'
Since my birth, I have found a total of 29190 Hitlers in Politics. On average, I found 78 Hitlers per day.
Today, I read 66614 comments. In total, I have read 16644165 comments.
submitted by HitlerFallacyBot to TheHitlerFallacy [link] [comments]

Intel systems run an operating system in addition to your main OS, MINIX ME. And it’s raising eyebrows and concerns. Web server can access anything on your computer, security compromised by design.

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 64%. (I'm a bot)
If you have a modern Intel CPU with Intel's Management Engine built in, you've got another complete operating system running that you might not have had any clue was in there: MINIX. That's right.
MINIX. The Unix-like OS originally developed by Andrew Tanenbaum as an educational tool - to demonstrate operating system programming - is built into every new Intel CPU. MINIX is running on "Ring -3" on its own CPU. A CPU that you, the useowner of the machine, have no access to.
The first thing that jumps out at me here: This means MINIX is in all likelihood the most popular OS shipping today on modern Intel-based computers.
Your CPU has a secret web server that you are not allowed to access, and, apparently, Intel does not want you to know about.
Note to Intel: If Google doesn't trust your CPUs on their own servers, maybe you should consider removing this "Feature." Otherwise, at some point they'll move away from your CPUs entirely.
Note to AMD: Now might be a good time to remove similar functionality from your CPU lines to try to win market share from Intel.
Summary Source | FAQ | Feedback | Top keywords: CPU#1 MINIX#2 Ring#3 Intel#4 access#5
Post found in /technology, /blackedoutnews, /WikiLeaks, /intel, /CannabisSessions, /de_EDV, /snowden, /linux, /Intelligence, /hardware, /pcgaming, /evolutionReddit, /privacy, /unix, /ConspiracyFacts, /programming, /Amd, /hackernews, /programming_jp, /TestYourBeepBoop, /technology, /sidj2025blog, /TestYourBeepBoop, /TestYourBeepBoop, /security, /Bitcoin, /IntelME, /BitcoinAll, /TestYourBeepBoop, /conspiracy, /realtech, /StallmanWasRight, /NoCorporations, /techsnap, /pcmasterrace, /linuxmasterrace, /minix and /unixmasterrace.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.
submitted by autotldr to autotldr [link] [comments]

"First Do No Harm" Murder Mystery

It is late at night. Everyone is huddled in the small hospital office. And everyone has one thing on their mind. Who killed Dr. Carter?
The small office is just that... small. There isn't much too it. A small window. A few bookshelves. A desk. Computer. etc etc. Normal office things. There was only one thing off about it... there was Dr. Malcolm Carter's dead body strewn across the floor. Coffee spilled in front of him. Mug in hand. Everyone was called here to figure out who did this. And the general consensus was that the police shouldn't be called in so that the potential murderer couldn't escape. But this all had to be done tonight before patients started coming in the next morning. The body was found around 11:30 pm.
Malcolm Carter Deceased - Malcolm Carter is the head Doctor of his local hospital. He is usually seen as a friendly man. The kind of guy you wouldn’t mind leaving your children with. He is everyone’s favorite Doctor. He is very well off financially. He is also married to Colleen Armstrong-Carter. There was never any reason to not like him. And his murder has came as a shock to the community around him… or has it?
Eric Stevens Played by bubbledragonz - Occupation: Doctor. Eric Stevens is very “stuck up” as some in the office would describe him. Most people in the office don’t like him because his father was a well respected doctor who had connections in the hospital industry. While he won’t admit it, his father paid his way through Med school for him. He isn’t good at being a doctor. He only stays in the position because he likes money.
Jedidiah McFarland Played by jmurphy42 - Occupation: Gas station clerk. Jedidiah is a very religious man. Dr. Carter has been his doctor for years. But it was only recently that he learned that Dr. Carter was performing abortions and giving young girls birth control. This goes against McFarland’s personal belief. He thinks it is his duty to make sure that not only himself, but all those around him are doing right by his standards. And as such, he warned Dr. Carter that should he refuse to cease with his wrongdoings, then God shall strike him down for being so sinful.
Grayson Wayne Played by paps1788 - Occupation: Nurse Practitioner. Grayson Wayne is the measly nurse practitioner. He is frequently used as a scapegoat for everyone’s issues. Mr. Grayson originally tried to be a doctor, but he simply wasn’t cut out for full time med school. Rumors circulate around the office that his father is a wealthy billionaire. But Grayson refuses to acknowledge the father who he hates. Grayson always says he doesn’t want to ride the coattails of his father. Most people would say that Grayson Wayne is the hardest working man in the office. He is always going above and beyond. But although everyone knows it, nobody wants to mention it. Grayson Wayne is not the brightest, and the possibilities of him rising to the top are slim to none.
Bill Robins Played by beep_boop_sleep - Occupation: Janitor. Bill Robins is an older gentleman. Everyone in the office respects him and genuinely cares about him. Although he knows he’s too old to be doing this manual labor, he insists on staying modest. It is obvious that Bill has a close bond with Emily.
Jonathan Willis Played by venusproxxy - Occupation: Hospital lawyer. Jonathan Willis is an older black fellow from rough backgrounds. He is the first to make it out of the cycle and graduate from college. He eventually started a family and went on to become a lawyer for the hospital Dr. Carter works at. He has strong morals and really wants to maintain the good image he’s created for his new family. But with two children on their way to college, it is becoming difficult on his wallet.
Ford Fairly Played by sumupid - Occupation: Intern. Ford Fairly is a young man with a bright future ahead of him. He just came out of med school and was put into an internship with Dr. Carter. Mr. Ford was fairly well liked around the office. Everyone knew he would eventually get a job here.
Julia Carter Played by cha-chingis_khan - Occupation: Just got out of the military. Nobody really knew about her except that she was Dr. Carter's sister. But she seemed clearly distraught about his death.
Shania Jackson Played by Tsiyeria : - Occupation: None. Shania Jackson is only 19. She is a fun, free spirited teen. But with this personality comes dangers. And she managed to get herself into a bad situation. She got pregnant. Shania Jackson came in for an abortion performed by Dr. Carter. But during the procedure there were some complications. Shania could no longer have a child due to permanent scars. Shania later went on to sue Dr. Malcolm claiming he was drunk and was visibly shaking whilst performing on her. But due to unforeseen reasons, the case went nowhere.
Emily Banks Played by ConeyKrab - Occupation: Secretary. Emily Banks is a young lady who is quite shy. She is also a tad on the slow side. But she is stunning in her looks. She had a close relationship with Bill Robins as he was like a father to her. And it looked like she was spending quite a bit of time with Dr. Carter outside the office.
Colleen Armstrong-Carter Played by GodHatesBitcoins - Occupation: Stay at home spouse. Ms. Colleen Armstrong-Carter is the wife of Doctor Carter. She is generally disliked around the office not because she’s a bad person, but because she is so unbearably boring.
The body was discovered late at night when Bill came across it. He shouted for help and Ford Fairly came running. And slowly more and more people would show up. With Colleen and Grayson showing up last.
It is 11:30 at the time of gathering.
Happy Hunting!
(Sorry for being late with this.)
Edit: Everyone should remember that when they talk that they stay in character. You can mention what you're doing and whatnot. But be sure to talk. Let the conversations do the talking for you.
Update: (So we have a new player. An inactive player has been booted. Instead of arefx sumupid will now be taking his place as Ford Fairly) (Since 24 hours have passed irl, time in the game is starting to pass. As of now. It has been an hour in the game) The body is starting to cool off, but some liquid has begun oozing out of the mouth. The coffee is beginning to dry up into the carpet. In a few hours patients will start rolling in. The garbage truck has come by and removed all the garbage in the dumpster. The security cameras' videos will be reset in the next hour. As of right now they are still available.
It is now 12:30
Update 2: (Another new player. MaxisDiedForYourSims will be switching out with bubbledragonz So treat any comment maid by Maxis as if it were made by bubble.)
The coffee test results are back in. And they have come back...positive for Dimethylmercury. The body of the deceased Dr. Carter is beginning to swell up. Particularly the head. More liquid has begun to spill out of his mouth. Could be due to the bloating. The coffee on the floor is completely dried up. And Dr. Carter is getting colder and colder making it harder and harder to determine time of death. Only 4 more hours until patients start showing up. All security cameras have been reset. (So I will be editing any comments I've made pertaining to camera footage accordingly)
It is now 1:30
Update 3: All toxicology reports have came back.
Eric never submitted his blood for testing.
Jed's test comes back... negative.
Grayson's test comes back... positive for trace amounts of Dimethylmercury
Bill Robin's test comes back... positive for trace amounts of Dimethylmercury
Jonathan's test comes back... positive for trace amounts of inhaled Dimethylmercury.
Ford's test comes back... negative.
Julia's test comes back... negative.
Shania's test comes back... negative.
Emily's test comes back... negative.
Colleen's test comes back... negative.
The body of Dr. Carter has become cold. It is no longer possible to determine time of death (not that it matters. Ya'll figured it out already.) Patient time is creeping ever closer as this mystery continues. After an hour long vote, results have come in... and it is decided that Grayson is innocent according to all the current evidence. Everyone is getting more exhausted and hungry as time goes on. Will the killer ever be found? There is only 3 more hours until patients start showing up.
It is now 2:30
submitted by TheDarkKnight125 to mysterymurders [link] [comments]

An Enormous List of Thing I'd Like to See in Watch Dogs 2 (if it happens)

These aren't in order of importance, just sorted by categories. Some ideas just have a few examples and can be expanded upon. This list is mostly gameplay changes; the story, characters, graphics, etc. aren't covered here. This list is massive, so if a category is boring the hell out of you, feel free to skip it but please check out the next one; not all of them contain huge changes.
HACKING
ADDITIONS:
CHANGES:
WEAPONS
ADDITIONS:
CHANGES:
As for the player's inventory:
COMBAT
ADDITIONS:
CHANGES:
SIDE MISSIONS
This is a big change, likely the biggest so far. Remove the current crime, gang hideout, and convoy systems entirely. Introduce the CtOS Alert. The CtOS Alert presents itself like a crime, giving only a location on the map. This location isn't preset like crimes; it can be in a ton of places, be different sizes, and move around. Arriving at the location, you will have to use your eyes and cameras to find out what kind of alert it is.
CRIME:
-A few people in the area have crime/victim probabilities. This is Chicago (or whatever city the sequel is in), more than one person per-block has a grudge for or from another person. The probabilities react to their proximity to a victim, if they pull out a firearm, or if they start shit-talking someone. The player will have to keep track of 2-3 people to see which one the perpetrator is. This one is inspired by Person of Interest.
HIDEOUTS:
CONVOYS:
And that's that. CtOS Alerts would be rarer than crimes are now, but not too rare, and there may be a few available at one time.
POLICE
ADDITIONS:
CHANGES:
NPCS
ADDITIONS:
CHANGES:
AIDEN PEARCE
HIGH REPUTATION:
LOW REPUTATION:
Neutral or volatile reputation could lead to a a mix of these, or they just won't occur.
GENERAL:
Coffee Shops: Coffee (Focus and sprint speed boost until you drain the focus or sprint for a total minute), Bagel (Damage threshold boost until damage is taken)
Fast Food: Soda (Same as coffee but diminished effect), Burger (Damage threshold boost until damage is taken, sprint speed nerf until you sprint for a total of 1 minute)
I'm not trying to turn this into a survival game here, there's no (No) [NO] {NO} need for some stupid hunger system. But the ability to sit down and eat would be appreciated.
CRAFTABLES
Add. More. Craftables. Seriously, 3 explosives, some pills, and a radio? How about:
MULTIPLAYER
By multiplayer, I mean invasions, not the other gametypes.
These changes, in my opinion, would reward players for hiding in plain sight and staying on the move instead of hiding behind dumpsters, since that would be a dead giveaway.
AND THAT'S IT
These are a few things, large and small, that I would be pleased to see in a sequel to Watch_Dogs. Of course more changes could and should be made, but overall I think these are pretty good. Let me know in the comments if these ideas are excellent, could be tweaked, or if I should never impose my horrible opinions on this forum for the remainder of my life. Also, please point out any typos, since I probably missed a few and I may elect to x-post this to /gaming or /games after reviewing their post guidelines.
Thanks for reading!
submitted by cdawgtv2 to watch_dogs [link] [comments]

Beep Boop - YouTube BEEP BOOP NEWZ - YouTube OLD MAN GAMS BEEP BOOP BITCOIN

Bitcoin; Affiliates. Humble Bundle; AMAZN; Live . Twitch; Schedule; LWDW 237: Beep-Boop Pads. By Venn Stone Aug 26, 2020 / No Comments . Happy 29th Birthday to Linux! Wayland gets Nvidia powers, Fedora has a guide for budding musicians, and reverse engineering the Corsair H150i RGB PRO XT for fun and drivers. Listen: Download: Podcast (lwdwaudio): Download. Subscribe: Apple Podcasts Android ... New Bitcoin Mining Profit Calculator by BeepBoopBitcoin in Bitcoin [–] BeepBoopBitcoin [ S ] 2 points 3 points 4 points 5 years ago (0 children) We are pleased to announce the availability of a new Bitcoin mining profit calculator, the Bitcoin Mining Profit Calculator: Gaiden. Bitcoin Mining Profit Calculator: Gaiden , the followup to last year's Advanced Bitcoin Simulator , is a satirical, sometimes cryptic free web browser game written by an anonymous artist called Totally Not Satoshi (TNS). Both games, says TNS, are mostly a piss-taking response to fairly uncritical media coverage of Bitcoin last year, and to the more wide-eyed , fleeceable members of the Bitcoin ... Beep Boop, the bitcoin price is... designed by Billy. Connect with them on Dribbble; the global community for designers and creative professionals. Whalebot is an incredibly useful telegram bot for checking ticker prices. A user types a command: /p btc Whalebot responds: BTC = $3920.5 24h 6.1% 🍻 1h -0.51% 😶 whalebot.io . Whalebot is an incredibly useful telegram bot for checking ticker ... Lets Play Beep Boop Bitcoin (5/8) Market Wrap: Bitcoin Tests $12Ok; DeFi Debt Outstanding Hits Record; Underestimated – by Kelly Felix; Ethereum Classic’s Leadership Says They Don’t Need Charles Hoskinson’s Bailout; How a Decentralized Randomness Beacon Could Boost Cryptographic Security; Mobile Crypto Scam Targets Wealthy Indian Investors

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Beep Boop - YouTube

HEY THIS IS A PARODY I ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND! AND ITS SUPER WELL DONE! AND MADE WITH LOTS OF LOVE AND CARE! Too bad it still is about bitcoins... so are bitcoi... Jim plays Beep Boop Bitcoin -- Watch live at http://www.twitch.tv/mogwaipoet Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. Sign in to like videos, comment, and subscribe. Sign in. Watch Queue Queue The name's Beep Boop! I'm buddied up with some friends over at TGM ( http://www.youtube.com/user/TGMafiaAnimations/feed ) I make videos of gameplay where its...

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